Blog Post .001 | A New Era of Niayai

Declarations are nothing new to me. I have always known words carry power, it’s one of the reasons I have always been drawn to writing and creative endeavors. I am in a new era of Niayai. It started earlier this year, I felt deeply unfulfilled, burnt out and overwhelmed with the world at large. I took a break from those closest to me to search for myself and heal the personal discontent I felt bleeding into every part of my life. It takes courage and bravery to admit you don’t like where your life is. It takes even more courage and bravery to make decisive choices to change it. 

I am an accomplished, ambitious and intelligent young woman, so I don’t say this lightly — when I put my mind to something, I make it happen. I refuse to let myself down. To not be a woman of my word. I am intentional with the way I show up and I know that all the hard work I have put in to get to this moment was a for a reason bigger than myself. I feel myself coming into the woman I have always known I wanted to be. It is scary, it is stressful, it is sometimes isolating, but I learn a lot about myself in the quiet moments of reflection. The spaciousness I create for myself so I can step into the next moment thoughtfully prepared and uninhibited by the fears or concerns that manifest during moments of self doubt.

I am no longer proving myself, I am choosing myself. I am no longer being an active participant in everyone’s life but my own. For so long, I have rushed to meet everyone's expectations and needs at the sacrifice of my own. Because I no longer felt I was worth the personal investment. Because I had experienced failure falsely believed it’s all everyone could see. Because I carried my grief longer than I needed to. Because I was was afraid of her own light. 

I am new and familiar. I now allow myself to be infintely curious, to speak loudly about the things I care about. I am creative and I no longer seek permission to be myself or shrink in the presence of others. I no longer delay my dreams or allow waiting to become my habit. The life I am creating for myself is warm, soulful, and entirely my own.

Welcome to the new Era of Niayai. I hope you can stay awhile.